The Top 20 Foods: A Definitive List From SixersAdam
You cannot debate this list.
Adam Aaronson, whose legal name is Sixers Adam (@SixersAdam on Twitter), covers the Sixers for The Rights To Ricky Sanchez. He has been legally banned from covering the team in person, but that ban will be lifted in March of 2020. He is brought to you by the Official Realtor of The Process, Adam Ksebe.
Coming up with topics to write about in a weekly basketball column when the sport is on total pause is tricky. But I never thought I’d be here.
Spike has been pushing me on Twitter and over text to rank my top 50 favorite foods. There is no chance I even eat 50 foods total, but I am going to rank for as long as I can.
NBA, please come back soon.
#1: Cantaloupe
Cantaloupe is not only the best fruit (and there is absolutely zero case for any other fruit), but it is the single best food of all time. Yes, it can be hard to find, but to me that adds to the value of The Cantaloupe Experience. It’s special.
If you don’t like cantaloupe you honestly should be thrown in prison
— adam aaronson (@SixersAdam) April 4, 2020
#2: Cheese Whales
It is almost embarrassing how good Cheese Whales are. Imagine this: you’re eating Goldfish. But instead of the Goldfish being absolutely horrible, they taste amazing. Now you have Cheese Whales.
#3: Plain Cheerios
Plain Cheerios are the best cereal to ever exist. And it’s not even close. All other forms of Cheerios are disgusting.
Cheeze-Itz and Goldfish have the following things in common:
- they are cheese crackers
- they are disgusting— adam aaronson (@SixersAdam) March 14, 2020
Regular Cheerios are the only edible Cheerios. All of the others are disgusting. https://t.co/gMgZT6iL2Z
— adam aaronson (@SixersAdam) March 23, 2020
#4: Black and White Cookies
#5: Sugar Cookies
A cookie: one half chocolate icing (chocolate is bad, though), one half vanilla icing. It’s good as hell. Probably the only thing I enjoy eating.
Sugar cookies are nearly equally good, but I give the slight edge to Black and Whites.
eating a black and white cookie, which is unquestionably the best cookie (even though there is only one other good cookie)
— adam aaronson (@SixersAdam) January 22, 2020
#6: Pretzels
Just a solid, reliable salty snack. Not soft pretzels, though. I would never eat a soft pretzel in a million years. Just the thin, crunchy ones. Here are my official pretzel shape rankings: twists, rods, sticks.
#7: Twizzlers
I figure it’s about time to get a candy in here, so I’m starting off with one of the two candies actually worth a damn. Twizzlers are undisputedly great, both in strawberry and cherry, in the form of bites, nibs, twists or peel. Plus, the Halloween version of Twizzlers is so good.
#8: Pizza
Definitely the best lunch food out there. This is under two conditions, however: the pizza needs to be well-done, and it cannot have toppings.
Plain / cheese pizza is the only good pizza https://t.co/qVezWuhFC7
— adam aaronson (@SixersAdam) January 12, 2020
#9: Potato Chips
Another reliable salty snack that you know what you’re going to get from. But only plain chips! Get out of here with your salt and vinegar or sour cream and onion or whatever. Gross.
#10: Froot Loops
Another cereal! Froot Loops are just good, man. They get the job done time and time again.
big fruit loops guy. everything else you guys listed sucks
— adam aaronson (@SixersAdam) October 21, 2019
#11: Popcorn
If I had written this 12 months ago, popcorn would be near the top of the list -- I have since seen the light, though. It is nowhere near an elite snack, simply a good one. It’ll do, sure, but not even in the same league as Pretzels.
#12: Waffles
#13: Pancakes
I’m not the biggest waffles guy on the planet, but they’re definitely good. What puts them above pancakes is that when you add powdered sugar to a waffle, it becomes simply incredible.
#14: Crackers
Here’s another snack where you just know what you’re going to get. A nice filler for that classic moment when you don’t want to eat but must maintain your literal livelihood.
#15: Chicken
A perfectly acceptable lunch food. Not going to blow you away, but you can count on it to be a filling meal.
#16: Swedish Fish
Back in the candy game here, Swedish Fish are nothing compared to the vastly superior Twizzlers, but they’re good in their own right.
#17: Apples
Here’s where things get tough. I don’t really eat apples all that often, I’m honestly not the biggest fan, but I’m grasping at straws at this stage. They’re good when they’re sweet?
#18: Mini M&Ms
While chocolate is bad, M&Ms are good -- but only if they’re miniature. The normal-sized ones are obviously a black mark upon society, but if you shrink them a bit, I’ll eat them.
#19: HoneyCombs
Checking back in with the final remaining edible cereal, HoneyCombs are far from great but they are edible, and that’s more than pathetic cereals like Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Reese’s Puffs can say.
#20: Bananas
I’ll be honest: I don’t like bananas. This one isn’t even a stretch, it’s just a lie -- and probably my cue to stop.