Previewing Sixers-Nets With My Nets Fan Co-Worker
Andrew Unterberger is a famous writer who invented the nickname 'Sauce Castillo' and writes for The Rights To Ricky Sanchez, as part of the 'If Not, Pick Will Convey As Two Second-Rounders' section of the site. You can follow Andrew on Twitter @AUGetoffmygold and can also read him at Billboard.
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Billboard Assistant Editor Josh Glicksman has made cameos in If Not Pick Will Convey With Two Second Rounders over the years as My Nets Fan Co-Worker -- a devotee of Jarrett Allen and Spencer Dinwidde in the late '10s, an easy convert to the Kevin Durant/Kyrie Irving/James Harden supertrio at the beginning of the decade, and yes, an impassioned defender of all things Ben Simmons since the 2022 Trade Deadline. His superhuman ability to pivot from one Nets mini-era to the next while forever remaining All In on whoever currently represents the faces of the franchise (with some minor exceptions for Kyrie Terribleness) has made him a natural sparring partner with Friend of the Blog Jason Lipshutz and I in the Work Slack over the years; like any good member of the RTRS extended family, it's impossible to tell how much of his espoused beliefs are just part of an extended bit.
We last heard from Josh at length following the Nets' blowout elimination in Game Five of the first-round series in 2019. As the Nets once again line up for the slaughter against Philly in the first round this year, we decided to hand the mic over to Josh to get a sense of how he's feeling about this latest incarnation of the team. (Spoiler: He's talking himself into the Nets winning, he's 500% in on First Option Mikal Bridges, and he's still not ready to totally throw Ben Simmons under the bus.)
Obviously this Nets team taking the floor on Saturday is one with very different expectations than the one that started the season, and one you haven't even gotten to spend all that much time with yet. What's your level of emotional investment in this team right now? Does this series even mean that much to you?
Of course it does. The Brooklyn Nets are in the playoffs, so naturally, my emotional investment is high — I don’t really know how else to be a fan, even if other initial-monikered writers would tell you that sometimes it’s best to just shrug and say, “There’s always next year.” Sure, there is next year, and there’s an exciting, young core group of players that I can’t wait to watch develop. But there’s also a playoff series against a team I absolutely loathe starting in the next few days, and come tip-off time on Saturday afternoon, my heart will fully expect to win it, even if my mind concedes otherwise. Hope is a hell of a thing, AU. No way to turn that switch off.
How do the Sixers rank against the Bucks and the Celtics right now in terms of teams you'd have wanted to play in the first round? Which one would you be the most scared to play against? (And which one would you be the most excited about beating?)
Cheap answer, but I wasn’t exactly relishing the opportunity to play any of them: the hope was to somehow sneak into the fifth seed and avoid one of them in the first round. All three matchups present a relatively stacked deck against us. I wasn’t really match up hunting post-deadline in the same way that I had been for the past few years. That said, without question, I’d be most excited about beating the Sixers (then Celtics, then Bucks) — too many Philly friends, too many Philly coworkers.
Any optimism you might have in this series probably has to be centered around Mikal Bridges and the pretty insane numbers he's put up since coming to Brooklyn. How hard have you fallen in love with him already? Do you think the numbers are real/not fluky, and do you expect them to hold up over the course of his first playoff series as anything more than a fourth option?
I love Mikal Bridges a lot. A whole lot, AU. Dude has me standing up, doing my best A Night at the Roxbury-esque head bob, pointing to no one at all in my apartment on a regular basis while he’s draining home 3s. Man, it’s really refreshing to actually like the guys on your team! And sure, the numbers are way up since coming to Brooklyn, but I wouldn’t call it fluky, even if it tapers off a bit this series. Nearly 30 games isn’t a tiny sample size. After all, that’s just about what your MVP plays over the course of a season, right?
These teams have only really played each other once as currently constituted, in a game we watched together at Barclays and which the Nets were winning for the great majority of the way (and which they still might've won if Spencer Dinwiddie didn't have a slower windup than Jamie Moyer). What, if anything, do you read into the matchup from what we saw in that game?
Eh, not much. A few guys were suiting up for the Nets for the first time, and the team as a whole was a) figuring out its new identity together on the floor and b) dealing with the aftershock of a wild deadline week. Hard to put too much stock into a game like that, though I’d certainly value it more than the matchup from last Sunday. Speaking of which, shouts to Doc for triple-teaming Cam Thomas to prevent the 50-burger. Legitimately fantastic bit there.
The thing that gives me biggest pause in this series is the Nets' combination of offensive rebound and shooting -- I'm already having nightmares of Nic Claxton and Day'Ron Sharpe beating Joel Embiid to 10 rebounds a game and kicking out at least five of them for wide-open Bridges/Johnson threes. Do you think that'll end up being a meaningful advantage for Brooklyn? Are there are any other areas where the team is sneaky strong that Sixers fans might not totally grasp yet?
If the Nets make offensive rebounding a meaningful advantage in this series, holy shit, something has either gone horribly wrong with Embiid or we’ve flipped the script on the entire season. All of the additional gray hairs on my head would tell you that we’ve been a pretty bad rebounding team for most of the year. That said, when the Nets are clicking, the ball is moving seamlessly and players are buzzing around the court, making cuts and finding open 3s. That could spell trouble for certain defenders on your team who are liable to falling asleep at the wheel (not naming names!). And when the Nets buy in on defense, they can be very stingy.
If that's my nightmare scenario for this series, I assume yours has to involve James Harden in some way. What are your expectations/fears for him in this series? Where does he rank for you among your most hated recent ex-Nets?
Eh, sure, but I also wouldn’t have guessed that I’d leave the 2019 playoffs with disdain for Mike Scott, so you can’t always predict these things. Do I wish him the worst on the court? Yeah, of course. That cute little narrative he’s trying to spin of like, “See look, I didn’t really quit on the Nets, it was that other guy who forced me to do it!” can fuck aaaaallllllll the way off. He probably ranks number two in that category (number one shouldn’t be much of a mystery), but honestly, my bigger fear may be some narrative about PJ Tucker’s defensive prowess when Bridges still averages like 25 points/game.
Among the non-Embiid/Harden Sixers, is there anyone who you're secretly a little scared of? Someone who you picture yourself going "Oh OF COURSE this guy hits five threes against us / grabs every rebound and loose ball in the most important game of the series"?
Maxey, but that’s not much of a secret. That guy is a microwave who seems really fun to have as a player on your basketball team. That’s no bueno as a guy who finds little amusement in anything bringing Sixers fans happiness. Except for Rita’s. We can all enjoy a mango gelati. Some things in this world are just unequivocal good.
How about anyone on Philly who you're convinced just fucking sucks? Someone you pray gets a whole lot of wide-open looks in the biggest moments?
Recency bias isn’t going to do me a lot of favors here, but PJ Tucker. Going to avoid any hyperbole here in case there’s some actually significant PJ Tucker Moment — though should that happen, there are decent odds I’d disintegrate into the earth, anyway. Secondary answer here would be whoever Jason Lipshutz is trying to convince us has been logging good minutes for the Sixers recently on Slack.
Do you want to take 30 seconds to do your crybaby loser rant about how Embiid should've been kicked out of Game Four and suspended for Game Five in the 2018 series? (Or your crybaby loser rant about how Jokic would've beaten Embiid for the MVP if he tried at all in the last month of the season?)
No, but the phrasing of your question suggests to me that you know the answer to both already. Insecurity is always loud, AU.
Ben Simmons. You loved and defended him as long as you reasonably could, but even you seem kinda out of him at this point. Where are you at with him as a Brooklyn Net moving forward? And if you had to break down why he basically quit on the Nets this year, what percentage would you say is health, what percentage is the team's season-long weirdness, and what percentage is him just kinda being a quitter?
Pointed question aside (although I get that this is an inevitable topic of conversation), I wouldn’t say that I’m out on him at this point, but I obviously can’t push back on it being a disappointing season with him. I certainly can’t speak on behalf of all Nets fans here, but nothing would make me happier than a healthy Ben Simmons successfully finding his role with the team next year. What’s that old phrase? #RunItBack? And while I respect the bait, I’ll pass on that last part — think that man has faced enough vitriol already.
I can't imagine you have any realistic expectation of the Nets winning this series -- so what would make it a successful showing for you? Win 1-2 games? Keep Embiid under 40 a night? Bridges just kicking ass throughout? What are you actually hoping for here?
Like I said, my heart fully expects to win it. That’s the only mode of fandom I know. I can’t go into a playoff series punting on first down. If it’s 2-0 heading to the Barclays Center, we can revisit the moral victories conversation. In any case, give me a Jared Dudley-esque folklore hero, and preferably make it Yuta Watanabe.
Who will you be rooting for in the Sixers-Celtics second round series?
I’ll be rooting for the Nets I’d imagine, but in this hypothetical scenario, I’d be rooting for the Celtics. And yes, it’d be my Joker origin story.