Look Man I Dunno
AU believed the Sixers should go for it this year. Unfortunately, turns out that believing in anything is for stupid people.
I did something at the end of Wednesday night's Sixers game that I almost never do -- I just watched the ESPN box score for most of the fourth quarter. I've punished myself all season, all Process, by watching unwinnable Sixers games against shit teams to the very end, till the garbage time was so foul my neighbors were coming by to ask about the stench emanating from my apartment. But the Sixers were trailing the Brooklyn Nets -- the now-tied-for-11th-place Brooklyn Nets -- by double digits, and I had just made dinner and my girlfriend was sick and I couldn't watch on my computer without downloading something called the Gotham App. Rather than do the gymnastics of figuring out how and when to watch the end of the game without putting Lisa through its undue misery, I just fired up an episode of Elsbeth and kept tabs on the Sixers getting buried by Jalen Wilson and Trendon Watford through text. It felt less like self-care than self-defense.
It's been a tough five-game stretch for the Sixers, and a tougher one for me watching them. No sooner had I recommitted my emotional energy towards them barreling their way towards the 10 seed -- maybe the nine seed? Could they see eight if I squinted hard enough? -- then the Sixers ripped off their most embarrassing stretch in a season full of such exhibitionistic humiliations. Losses upon losses to lousy teams and shorthanded teams and lousy shorthanded teams. Dispiriting Ls, inexcusable Ls, Ls where the only explanation was "they had too many of their guys available." And because sure why not, smack in the middle of it we also got our best player hurling a grenade of a midgame report about how maybe everything everyone had been saying about his injury prognosis was wrong and actually maybe him playing at all was a terrible idea. Bad scene, everyone's fault.
And throughout it, folks have been tagging and messaging me, mocking me, berating me, trying to put all of this on my shoulders as if it's somehow my fault both that the Sixers are losing and that any of us still care about any of it. And of course they're basically right; I've been doing this shit too long to try to duck culpability in situations like this -- we all share the blame for everything that goes wrong with the Sixers, and with my much-espoused pro-caring about this team, anti-quitting on this season stance, I certainly bear an outsized chunk of it this time around. Sorry y'all. My bad.
But does that mean I actually regret my position? Does that mean I'm actually changing my position for the remainder of the season? Look........ I don't fucking know man.
Things are obviously not trending up for this team headed into the All-Star break. Joel Embiid is creaky, Tyrese Maxey is knee-contused, Paul George is doing his best impression of what it would have looked like if Washed Danny Granger had ever actually suited up for the Sixers back in Hinkie's first season. The supporting cast is full of well-meaning young men who all seem like they can shoot and defend but somehow add up to a team that can't stop anyone or hit a three to save their life. Eric Gordon and Kyle Lowry are out indefinitely. Andre Drummond is finally back. None of it is good news, and it all still seems like it could get way worse before season's end.
On Bluesky, friend of the blog Bryan Toporek is trying to cajole me into joining the pro-tank bandwagon, while now-avowed AU opp John Gonzalez tries to throw me off like Indiana Jones tossing nazis off his blimp. Good news for both of them: It doesn't really matter which bandwagon I'm on right now, because we're all going to the same place anyway. The trade deadline is over and the Sixers couldn't win a game right now against the Drake-coached intramural squad from the "Best I Ever Had" video. Them trying to win and them tanking... they're the same picture.
And blame me all you want for that Tyrese Maxey-led four-game winning streak, but despite my attempts to sabotage Team Tank, the Sixers are still very much in the thick of the race to the bottom. There are now only five teams in the league decisively worse than the Sixers, meaning it is definitely not too late for us to keep our top six-protected pick if we stay on our current trajectory. It's there for the taking, and with Tyrese Maxey suffering secret ailments, Paul George down a finger and Joel Embiid practically begging to be put out of his misery, it would probably seem the time to close up shop for the season and say better luck next year.
But guess what y'all................ That 10 seed is still for the taking, too. As the Sixers were hitting new lows over the last two nights of game action, so were our good friends the Chicago Bulls, who lost a home-and-home to the division rival Pistons by a combined 58 points and remain just one up on the Sixers in the loss column. As we've seen with this Sixers season, one good win (or one bad loss) can change the entire thing's trajectory, so maybe the Sixers rest up over this All-Star weekend -- which, wouldn't you know it, absolutely none of them are going to be involved with in any capacity -- they get their heads (if not their bodies) right, they recommit to the team and to one another and they come out blazing again to start the season's final stretch. After all, once they get into the play-in, anything can happen.
The pounding and gruff voices at my door can only mean that Mike and Gonz have called the cops on me as I'm writing, so I'll likely have to cut off my still-go-for-it argument at this point. I don't know how convincing I can be with it anyway, to you or to myself; It's not like I ever really believed this team had a major chance of going far in the playoffs this year, I just thought it was the best of a whole lot of bad options. Whether or not we end up throwing in the towel on this season, Team Yeah But Maybe Next Season still isn't doing much for me; if anything, these Embiid reports about how his body is failing and at some point he'll need to shut it down for a whole year basically signal to me that next year is already pretty much doomed regardless. It's hard for me not to feel like as long as we're all still here and doing this thing this season we may as well see it through to the end, no matter how painful or dumb the final episodes end up being.
But whatever. Whether you've been Team Mike or Team AU about what the Sixers should do with the rest of the season -- and with the possible exception of Jason, basically all of our star recruits on the latter squad have already entered the transfer portal anyway -- it's pretty clear now that Spike's attitude of "eh, let 'em do what they're gonna do, none of it really matters anyway" is the healthiest of all. I'm not sure if I'll be able to turn off the caring about the games part of me for the remainder of the season, but if I'm already tuning out of fourth quarters to watch Carrie Preston howcatchems, maybe I'm not that far off. I dunno. No one knows. None of this means anything. Sports are dumb. Bad season. Bad team. Bad Process.
Andrew Unterberger writes for The Rights To Ricky Sanchez, as part of the 'If Not, Pick Will Convey as Two Second-Rounders' section of the site. You can follow Andrew on Twitter @AUGetoffmygold and can also read him at Billboard.
Andrew's writing is brought to you by Kinetic Skateboarding! Not only the Ricky's approved skate shop, but the best place to get Chucks, Vans, any apparel. Use code "DAVESILVER" for 9.1% off your order.
I'm not sure if this is a good thing but I sometimes checkup on how TJ is doing with the Pacers. That cheers me up.
Poor us. Poor AU.